Coping with isolation

Before our everyday reality was turned upside down due to the lockdown and social isolation caused by the Covid 19 virus many of us were already reporting feelings of loneliness. According to a 2020 report, over 9 million people in the UK. Currently millions more around the globe are living in isolation due government restrictions in response to the pandemic.After such a difficult year there’s no doubt that many of us are experiencing heightened loneliness.

While from a psychological perspective it is certainly possible to view most change as challenge and opportunity, it is not immediately obvious how this might be possible with social isolation. Understanding why isolation can effect us so negatively can help us to combat it.

Humans are a social species, evolved for constant daily contact with others, making social isolation very difficult to deal with. In prisons solitary confinement is still considered to be the harshest punishment. Some evolutionary biologists argue that much of the development of our huge brain power in comparison to other primates was to facilitate managing complex social relationships within our tribe. These relationships were vital as they governed our social status, our mating potential, access to food, and ultimately whether we lived or died, as in our prehistory exile from the tribe meant certain death. While the details of these theories are debated, it's hard to ignore how much of our brain power is dedicated to facilitating social cognition. Our brains' chemical regulation systems help us manage emotions, social interactions, how we function within groups.

If so much of our brains and emotional regulation is tied in with social interaction then what happens when we are isolated from others? Social contact is viewed by psychologists as vital to our health, helping us shape our concept of the world and reality, our society and culture. So being alone for most is going to feel very hard with loneliness and anxiety causing mental health issues over time. Although the struggles of isolation are now hitting the headlines, for many this kind of loneliness is the norm. At any given time some of us will fall into the following categories: The emotionally lonely: who struggle to connect and understand themselves and others. The socially lonely who struggle to find their ‘tribe' or a partner through shyness or low self esteem. The situationally lonely: perhaps those caring for a sick or elderly family member, single parents, immigrants away from home in another country. The chronically lonely: who have been suffering from isolation of one form or another for along time. These forms of loneliness can make the added burden of self isolation seem hopeless. 

However despite these difficulties there is still opportunity for all of us during isolation. Initially we face the tiring process of ‘re-mapping’ our understanding of reality, most of us have experienced this during the early stages of the lockdown in 2020. Learning to understand this massive shift in what is ‘normal’ takes time. Once it has been processed seclusion does offer an opportunity for self development through reflection, an auditing of our life. The potential for peace and space. Seeing the difference between alone and lonely can help.

Regardless of whether isolation feels like a positive time of peace alone or a frightening lonely battle there are actions we can take to help deal with the challenge in a positive way. These suggestions for coping with isolation do not have to be limited to lockdown some can be applied for anyone struggling post the lockdown lifting too:

Create a routine:

Get up at the same time each day and go to bed at the same time. Prepare and eat proper healthy meals at regular times. Avoiding overindulgence in food and alcohol is also advisable.

Dress & self care: 

While it can be tempting and even enjoyable initially during isolation to relax and ‘slob about’ in casual clothing, taking care of ourselves keeps us busy and helps create a sense of structure and dignity.

Tidiness:

Keeping your house or flat neat and tidy important during isolation. It keeps us busy, particularly as we might be furloughed from work or unable to attend to our usual business. Going forward if you find yourself unemployed or working from home keeping order can help with managing negative emotions.

Exercise:

If possible make use of your time to exercise each day to get some time out of the house. Although we are social distancing it can help to see a friendly face on the streets and have the feeling of being ‘in this together’. In general exercise helps with our feelings of emotional wellbeing. If you are unable to exercise then other activities can be beneficial: from meditation, to reading, or other hobbies. 

Social contact:

Although we are still separate in Scotland we can still contact others by picking up the phone or talking face to face via Skype, FaceTime, Zoom, or other platforms. Sharing experiences or just having a friendly chat can help to put things in perspective and alleviate loneliness

Helping others:

If you feel able then volunteering to help vulnerable neighbours with shopping or collecting prescriptions, or through an organisation, can help you to feel more active and involved in your community. 

Bigger picture:

While constant bad news hounded us through 2020 about the Coronavirus which led some to feel overwhelmed it’s important to remember that this situation won’t last forever and we are perhaps now starting to see light at the end of the tunnel. Avoiding the news, or choosing particular times to check on events can help if you’re finding it upsetting. 

And lastly and very importantly ASK FOR HELP. If you feel you are being overwhelmed with feelings of loneliness, anxiety or depression during or after this period of isolation do not be afraid to ask for help from friends, family and groups who have expertise in mental health. 

If you or anyone else you know needs support to deal with mental health problems the following organisations provide support: 

And if you wish to explore issues around isolation, for example anxiety or depression you could consider private therapy with Evolve. 

In our next article in April we will also be looking at issues of anxiety around lockdown lifting.




sarah woodcock